I could spend my whole life
Thinking about what’s important to me
I could spend my whole life
Thinking about what matters to me
I could spend my whole life
Worrying about what’s going to happen to me
I could waste my whole life
Thinking about just what it is my life means

Sometimes what matters doesn’t really matter at all
Sometimes it doesn’t fit inside the big picture

Sometimes I need to be just where I am
Sometimes I need to know that right here is good enough
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so i finally got a new camera. mine got lost in the move and i never really had the capital to replace it. but now im about to go on a trip cross country with my dad, so fuckit. i got a nikon coolpix s8100 in GOLD cause im an ART ST*R.

so i drove to santa paula to visit my aunt and took a million pictures. what follows are most of my favorites but the entire album is on flickr to peruse.

california is a beautiful place, easy to take artsy snapshots of. however as i started taking pictures, i found myself especially attracted to how human life interacts with this paradise. california’s environment is an entirely forced state of nature. sure, agriculture thrives in a sunny climate, but this place is a desert. water is piped in, gardens are transplanted, bees are shipped in to pollinate fields of monoculture crops. its completely fake. no rain, a temperate mall climate.

this past semester, i haven’t been myself, ive been trying to force myself into a place i don’t want to be. and i think with a lot of these pictures, im thinking about people living places they shouldnt.
plastic mingling with plant life….

to me, the ideal manifestation of that idea of forced habitation, is the shopping cart. a human invention used to aid in consumerism. here in california, theyre often stolen and left in neighborhoods, overturned in gardens, crashed into palm trees. still working on editing these….

when i got to santa ana, we did it all. car show, vintage prop plane show at the airport, indie music fest where i saw REDD KROSS and a bunch of bullshit, and then drove home on the CA 1 along the coast line. here are a couple of my faves, the entire album is on flickflickflickr…..

tomorrow i leave.

i think i want to cut my bangs again
i’ve kinda lost sight of who i want to be///what i want to look like

talking heads:::seen and not seen<—click
He would see faces in movies, on T.V., in magazines, and in books….
He thought that some of these faces might be right for him….And
through the years, by keeing an ideal facial structure fixed in his
mind….Or somewhere in the back of his mind….That he might, by
force of will, cause his face to approach those of his ideal….The
change would be very subtle….It might take ten years or so….
Gradually his face would change its’ shape….A more hooked nose…
Wider, thinner lips….Beady eyes….A larger forehead.

He imagined that this was an ability he shared with most other
people….They had also molded their faced according to some
ideal….Maybe they imagined that their new face would better
suit their personality….Or maybe they imagined that their
personality would be forced to change to fit the new appear-
ance….This is why first impressions are often correct…
Although some people might have made mistakes….They may have
arrived at an appearance that bears no relationship to them….
They may have picked an ideal appearance based on some childish
whim, or momentary impulse….Some may have gotten half-way
there, and then changed their minds.
He wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake.

i wonder if i too might have made a similar mistake…..

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so yeah reading! first up, i have Peggy Orenstein’s “Cinderella Ate my Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the new Girlie-Girl Culture.”
its got glitter on the cover!
the title pretty much sums up the content of the book.
Orenstein writes that even though educational and professional opportunities are on the rise for today’s girls, American media oriented towards girls still encourages them to “equate identity with image, self-expression with appearance, femininity with performance, pleasure with pleasing, and sexuality with sexualization.”
i’m certainly one to equate identity with image, as demonstrated in the beginning of this very post! :-p
i think that self-expression and appearance and creativity and identity are all linked….but when a girl is taught that their appearance is the only way they can express themselves, thats not ok…
the book is not pure pink bashing though. Orenstein began all this research with the question, is this princess mania a true threat? a “more sinister marketing plot with long-term negative impacts”? or is it just a harmless phase?
the book is heavily research-based and full of information but is written with humor and reads more like an opinion piece than a scholarly article
yayyyyy
all quotes from the always reputable amazon.com
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if that starts feeling a little too educational, i’ve got Thomas Pynchon’s “The Crying of Lot 49″ from dear bestie Alex Ebstein of Baltimore’s Nudashank Gallery.
its Pynchon’s shortest novel but the language is still as dense and verbose as “V”.
but its still sexy, poetic non-fiction.
a beach-read
i like Pynchon. to me he reads like the funny, surreal side of Vonnegut + Henry Miller‘s sexy adventuring inner monologue writing style.
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and theeeen, i want to order Jon Ronson’s “The Psychopath Test”
first off, awesome cover…and then ive always been interested in psycho killersss
in this book, Ronson learns how to administer Robert Hare’s psychopath test and then goes on to interview prisoners, psychologists and criminally insane people.
here, ill let him explain it, hes got the cutest voice :-p

following is track listing with interesting extra tid-bits….
including a movie review down at the bottom …
if you like the mix, theres another i made which you can still download here.

1) i’m so depressed—abner jay

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2) tears in the typing pool—broadcast
RIP trish keenan!

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3) beast in peace—bear in heaven

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4) bombay—el guincho
obviously, the best video of the year.

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5) world clique— deee-lite
Deee-lite’s lovely Lady Miss Kier, Corina, Juliet Cuming, Kim Gordon, MC Lyte, Kate Pierson, Crystal Waters, and Tina Weymouth filming a pro-choice public service announcement in 1991.

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6) the bohannon walk—bohannon

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7) baxter corner—white fence
great california band i saw with the babies…

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8 ) greenwich mean time—charlotte gainsbourg
pretty girl…

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9) omar k—rainbow arabia
ha, check out this hipster shit :-p

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10) through the hosiery—crystal castles
finally got one of these trevor brown marylin shirts…so coool

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11) moody—ESG
cool chicks right there…emerald/sapphire/and gold

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12) janitor—suburban lawns

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13) poor old soul part one—orange juice
cuties!

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14) meet me in the city–the babies
some cute california bebes channeling the pixies…

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15) be your baby–harlem

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16) devils hearts grow cold–la sera

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17) the countess–jacuzzi boys
tropical death metal from florida…

deerhunter’s bradford cox’s side project…

i think all together it brings about an alexander mcqueen vibe.
DRESS UP!
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after the wedding, my dad is coming and driving with me cross country to nashville.
we’re gonna take a week or so hanging out in the desert, drinking date shakes, visiting canyons and parks and stuff.
ADVENTURE!
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it hasn’t all been misery out here.
since coming to california, i’ve collected 16 varieties of succulents and 3 cactus cuttings, including a cactus cutting stolen from joshua tree national park
i hope they acclimate well to tenn….
i never knew there were so many different shapes and colors of these. and some of them flower! and they just grow naturally around here, because california is certainly beautiful…

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and i finished a semester here at Cal State Fullerton! six transferrable credits, yayyy!
i saw this inspiring interview with the etsy success story dreamboat yokoo…

“i just feel like theres no room to be mediocre, and its not because i have some kind of disorder its simply because i enjoy immensely being great“

“i love being hardcore”

i try to keep things like that in mind. im kind of a lazy person, sometimes i forget that i want to be great.

veggie chili for 5:

just use whole vegetables and double everything if there are more people

1/2 eggplant or a small one
1/2 onion
lots of garlic – 4-5 cloves
2 fat carrots
1 small zuke
1 small yellow squash
package of mushrooms
green bell pepper
1 big yellow waxy potato
1 big sweet potato
12 oz (ish) can of red kidney beans
12 oz (ish) can of black beans
12 oz (ish) can of garbanzo beans
a big can (16? 20? oz) about 4″ across – peeled whole tomatoes
Contadina makes the best tomato products
12 oz can of tomato sauce – not paste. Contadina makes the best tomato products
smallish (8 OZ?) can of corn
2 pkgs of French’s Chili-O (buy it! It’s yum)
some cinnamon, salt ground pepper
EVOO

ok – peel and cube the potato and sweet potato and cook in some boiling salted water
about 15 min. to start to soften. Drain and set aside.
-so chop up the garlic, onion and peel the eggplant and cube it, chop
all the veggies into delectable bite sized pieces.
-saute-the eggplant in a LOT of olive oil as it soaks it all up. You’ve got to brown it. Set aside out of the pan.
-More olive oil, saute the garlic and onion. Set aside w/the eggplant.
-More olive oil, saute the carrots, green pepper, zuke and squash just to brown them. Don’t let them get mushy. Set aside w/the other stuff.
-More olive oil, saute the shrooms. Set aside w/the other stuff.
-Get a BIG POT and dump in the beans and corn with their juice, the tomatoes and sauce.
-Put a little bit of water in the frying pan and deglaze all the good veggie juices and dump that in too.
-Dump all the veggies in and the Chili-o. You might need to add a little water. Or beer. Or wine. Or V-8. Or whatever.
-If you have some leftovers that seem appropriate add them.
-Cook on low for a coupla hours. The longer the better. Also you can turn it off for a while if it is too hot. NO BOILING. Bubbling is slightly undesirable.
Make some cornbread at the last minute and serve it hot.
Sour cream, Greek yogurt, grated cheese, guacamole are all also delish.
Don’t put tabasco or Sriracha or anything real hot in it because it will get hotter as it cooks. Just let people put it on theirs.
xoxox

my room mate elle insisted on fritos rather than corn bread and that was fantastic, like frito pie!
also the cinnamon takes it over the top. so so goood
so in our house, when we want heat, we turn to banjamin’s ghost pepper elixir!
the ghost pepper is the hottest pepper in the world! but ben’s sauce and dry rub are spicy and flavorful, not just “tasteless heat“. i need to figure out some kind of portable shaker to keep in my purse because i am seriously addicted.

josh anderson

1* ain’t got no sense–teenage head
1979, “Canada’s answer to the Ramone’s”…found them after watching Class of 1984, previously mentioned in twist
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2* till the end of the day–the kinks
1965, i think this is my favorite kinks song…i like their gratuitous use of “yeah” as punctuation…
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3* in my room–best coast
2010, Bethany Cosentino covers the Beach Boy’s classiccc….heres an interview with her on All Things Considered…
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4* like flies on sherbert–alex chilton
1979, from the Like Flies on Sherbert album, about which AllMusic says, “Regrettably, this album cannot be recommended under any circumstances”…
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5* looking for some action–bare wires
2010orsomething, coming to Danzig’s Sept 3rddd!
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6* do it to me tonight–hasil adkins
1955-65, common themes for this Appalachian rockabilly musician included love, heartbreak, police, death, decapitation, hot dogs, aliens, and chicken…
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7* click your fingers applauding–roky erickson and the aliens
1981, Roky was the lead singer of 60s psych band the 13th Floor Elevators. this album was made much later, after Roky was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and was given involuntary electroconvulsive therapy…wicked!
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8* the list–ariel pink
2007, yall know how much i love him. i got to see him a while ago at the bottletree! fun, good band, but a very structured performance, no banter in between songs…but i do love how he STILL dresses like a chick tween from the 90′s.
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9* try–delta 5
1979, from Leeds England, feminist new wavers…i heard them for the first time on some college radio between Baltimore and Norfolk…
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10* time stands still–cut copy
2004, Australian….eezy breezy indie pop, and the singer is cute or something…?
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11* boys will be boys–fast
1977, NYC Hi-NRG disco/pop/electro…Mikki and Paul Zone, also of Man 2 Man…bonus Keith Haring single cover…

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12* please stand by–the shivvers
1979, critics blame the bands location, milwaukee wi, for their failure to gain wide-spread popularity…previously mentioned in not so much to be loved as to love…

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13* soal asmara–dara puspita
1966, indonesian, their name translates to “the flower girls”…perhaps the first all-girl garage rock group…?

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14* what should i do–the shaggs
1968, lets just call it art brut rock from New Hampshire…the shaggs was composed of sisters Dot, Betty and Helen Wiggins…their grandmother had learned in a palmreading session that they would form a popular music group, so their father pulled the girls out of school and bought them instruments and music lessons. the girls themselves had never planned to be a band. they recorded one album, “Philosophy of the World”, which recieved a lot of attention when Frank Zappa mentioned it in an interview. apparantly theres a tribute album featuring artists like Deerhoof and R. Stevie Moore covering Shaggs songs…
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15* summertime blues–the flying lizards
1979, my dad had this album when i was little…
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16* aint you–kleenex/LiLiPUT
1978, Switzerland, pavin the way for Riot Grrls or whatevrrr…

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17* 52 girls–the b-52′s
1979, Athen’s GA, kooky quirky i wanna dance in a flapper dress toooooo
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18* little fluffy clouds–the orb
1991…..mmm, im not that wise on house music culture…but, i like this ambient, early-morning rave stuff…reminds me of my childhood obsession with deee-lite

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19* vacation–beach fossils
2010, brooklyn…got to see these cuties at Nashville’s Dead Freakin’ Weekend. thats Bekah Cope’s pic…
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20* the turnpike down–the lemonheads
1992, Boston…guilty summertime pleasure, Evan Dando is a forever kind of love…

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21* dying for it–the vaselines
1986, glasgow scotland…a little-known band with a short career, Kurt Cobain covered their songs “Molly’s Lips”, “Son of a Gun” and “Jesus Don’t Want Me for a Sunbeam” bringing them exposure…also they are super cuties

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22* stop it–pylon
1980, athens GA, i discussed them previously in las vegas diamond lust….i wanna scream like vanessa briscoe

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23* sleepyhead–passion pit
2009, boston…another guilty pop pleasure! what can i say, im a sucker for dumb beats…thats the originial sample they use, celtic singer mary o’hara’s “oro mo bhaidin”…i really miss a good pop dance party
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24* schizophrenia–sonic youth
from 1987′s Sister album, this is the song i turn to when theres nothing else i care to listen to…previously discussed goo in it was all whirlwind, heat and flash…
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25* new life–the bird names
2008, Chicago…previously discussed in rainy day driving…

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26* annie–mirrors
1973, Cleveland. by 1975, mirrors had reformed to become the Styrenes. aaand i saw them at Bettys this past winter!
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27* tonight–the spits
2009, Seattle…another radical show i got to witness! this time at the Stinkwater supper club…good times! fog machine, fire, stirrin the pit. punched in the face fun…pic by bekah
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28* vertigo–the screamers
1977, LA. the band never released an official record but was extremely popular in the club scene. they were famous for elaborate stage shows and costumes, probably inspired by frontman, Tomata du Plenty’s relationship with the Cockettes, a psychadelic drag queen group from San Francisco…

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29* freaks out–hubble bubble
1978, Brussels…short-lived punk experiment of Roger Jouret/Plastic Bertrand
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30* lorelei–tom tom club
1981, LOVE YOU TOM TOM CLUB! talking head’s tina weymouth and chris frantz…this debut album also has the song Genius of Love on it which was heavily sampled in the 80s and 90s…most notably by Mariah Carey for the song Fantasy…i mentioned my love of tom tom club to a friend and he suggested i listen to Bohannon, bad ass disco bandleader from the 70s…super slick and sexyyy. makes everyone else sound lazy and severely under-whelming…

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31* its needless–the toms
1979, New Jersey, the toms is actually a one man band named Tom Marolda, an established record producer and sound engineer…
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32* try again–big star
1972, this song just breaks my heart…
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33* baby, you’re just you–the pastels
1989, Glasgow Scotland, frontman Stephen Pastel’s record label 53rd and 3rd carried Jesus and Mary Chain and The Vaselines…connections! they look like such bebes…

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34* andmoreagain–love
1967, LA. another band that shoulda woulda coulda been bigger. apparantly they just refused to tour…
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35* cheree–suicide
1977, NY, and then Bruce Springsteen heard suicide’s “Frankie Teardrop” and wrote “State Trooper”…

tada!! enjoy!!

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re-haircut: im thinkin post-fashion, 90′s bob ala My So Called Life
i dont know why i waited so long. i feel like myself again…after a long time of not looking like myself without realizing it….or something
i finally made the cut after elle did it first…..
and then after seeing Roman Polanski’s Repulsion and realizing that I had the same haircut as Catherine Deneuve, Polanski’s “anesthetized…inarticulate, and possibly even murderous somnambulate”…this is not the look i was going for…
but Repulsion is awesome! i watched it without knowing anything about it, so it was truly horrific and creeeeeepy. especially cause i was home alone!
im including the trailer, but DONT WATCH IT! its full of spoilers…like, serious plot twists you dont see coming…
Repulsion, a story of one woman’s sexual paranoia and spiraling psychosis, is the first film in Polanski’s so-called “Apartment Trilogy”, a collection of films about urban fear. Rosemary’s Baby and The Tenet are the other two, havent seen The Tenet yet…
psycho-thriller, qu’est-ce que c’est?
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and we saw our dear friends the Tyler Family Band play at Bettys!
featuring Elise Tyler of Halcyon and getting married soon fame
William Tyler of Silver Jews and previous post fame
and Dan and Adelle!
adorable! love it!
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and it was my birthday!!
and i made a gorgeous delicious cake! strawberries soaked in galliano with french vanilla cake and greek yogurt/heavy cream frosting
yummmmmm, i swear
bday festivities included: ladies dinner at The Smiling Elephant
which was AMAZING! i never knew that pad thai didnt have to be a greasy, heavy mess. everything was light and delicious and lovely and i highly recommend it.
and then karaoke at Ms Kelli’s downtown. its a night i nearly remember….
more pics on the flik lik likr
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bonus summer fun!: pics from Loney’s bday river outing…checkit!

RIP: black, Made in Tokyo thrift store frames…..3rd pair of sunglasses lost to a summer river trip
i barely knew thee….

Roger Miller…ive looked all around on the internet, and this goofy bit is my favorite version…
speaking of Jim Henson…had you seen this? “Time Piece“

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anyway, i went on vacation. i saw some stuff and did some things and here are some pics….

i watched a storm roll in at the beach with my dad. it passed us by though. when my father was a kid he was struck by lightning at the beach. he was shot in the eye with a be be gun too, but thats something else…
baby muscles feasting on some tasty waves…


this teal color was following me around everywhere…in the absynth my father poured me, on a door at my friends house, cars and sky and water….

and we took a ride on a ferry, the Pocahontas, and the gulls were doing their best to keep up…
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and then i went to richmond and went thrifting with mom. found this defaced gene autry comic book and brought this Nashville souvenir back to its rightful home…small world….


and we had an early birthday dinner at the Jefferson hotel. quite ritzy but not stuck up…we had two desserts and i ordered a drink that somehow tasted like bacon…? (gin+honey+thyme=meat?)
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and then back home!
to nashville!
to the fourth of july!
or as ben calls it, Nashville’s New Year….(which is true, i first moved here on July 4th)….
so anyway, New Year’s Eve, July 3rd, Elle and i met some friends and did a little slipn and slide’n

i had to work on the 4th of Joolee so, no drinkin no grillin for me. but the club had a 10million dollar fireworks display, and i had a seat front row center. so it was worth it.
and now backwards….

more pics if you care on the flick flick flicka