every day is a ho-liday…


i am worrying about memory. i kind of always have actually…sometimes, i wonder if its because im an only child. i imagine that if i were to have a sibling, they would help me keep all these pieces of childhood together. but maybe thats wrong.
ive been trying to keep myself accountable. i tried logging how many hours i spent on the internet, but then i was just wasting extra time, writing down how much time i was wasting.
i’m not trying to document and categorize my trash and refuse, but i’m interested to see what i actually do with my self, with my time and my life…
so heres a memory experiment, a TMI experiment…
today…
i woke up because my mom called me. she’s going to send me some more sweaters from home because when i packed to move to nashville, i was under the impression that winter was over. it was snowing outside this morning, i moved my car while still in my pajamas cause last time it snowed, i had to call the triple a guys to come pull my car out of the drive way.

i did sun salutations, had breakfast and looked for jobs on the internet, nothing interesting or worthwhile. hung out till lunch with the Cosby show. Elle likes watching day time television, the Cosby show and the Tyra Banks talk show in particular. i cut my bangs.
i felt restless, and upset about the snow and the cold and the lame job postings. i decided to go to the grocery store in order to buy the ingredients needed to make carrot ginger breakfast loaf, good with cream cheese.

i called jamie while i was there (because i saw some sexy pictures on her tumblr) and heard all about her residency at the Lobot gallery in Oakland california, how she moved back to Richmond for a week, how people acted like she had never left and yet were not sad to see her move on again to Brooklyn. she had recently gone to her great aunt’s 100th birthday party…it was uncomfortable and awkward and the aunt didnt seem cognisant.

i made the carrot bread, i added extra pulped ginger. elle made ben a heart shaped pizza for an after valentines date and i made myself scarce for a while, hanging out in my room watching the new project runway. the judges keep liking things that i hate and ignoring things that id actually like to wear. it makes me wonder about my taste level.
timothy called, i made him promise to send me a late vday present. i want to start pen pal correspondances because its always nice to get things in the mail…i also want to paint my room, so that i can put nails in the wall and hang up things i want to look at. i like zephyr

ben went to the bar, elle and i had whiskey and carrot bread, watched models on the runway and did our nails cause we are ladies. we did not go to the paper hats show at bettys, nor to the dance party at the five spot…another time.

now i am upstairs, watching art 21 season 3 “memory” with hiroshi sugimoto etc and i am remembering how…..
in college, we were taken on a field trip to dc where we visited a sugimoto exhibit, “seascapes”.
these dozen or so photographs were heavily lit on a wall in an other wise blacked out room, my best friend alex and i decided that this was the way to go…in a dark room of sugimoto’s, music blasting and poisonous gas seeping in… dance party till you drop.
bleak…

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One response to “every day is a ho-liday…

  1. Pingback: sweet 16 pre-game | bashful confessions of a zombie romance

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